There’s only one truthin anything. One objective truth. Including love.
There are billions of people in this world. At least 20 millions alone lives in Jakarta. Tens of millions subjective ways to see the truth.
There is a lot of hubbub regarding free speech that sometimes we forget that they are all indeed that. Opinions. Opinions that belong to whoever says it and could never replace the objective truth. Simple enough, no?
Things start getting messy when people start forcing their beliefs upon one another. And I’m not even talking about religion. I’m referring the way we often persuade our loved ones to love us the way we want them to. It’s all about the way we often expect people dearest to our hearts behave in such a way that is most acceptable to us. It’s all about the thin line between loving and owning somebody.
In deep relationships, ‘love’ often brings out the best in us and in turn wishing the same to happen to our loved ones as well. And when Riko & Rika (these cool people who knows what’s going on) affirmed that true love means wanting the best for your loved one, you said ‘AMEN TO THAT! I’m doing that ya’ll!’ wholeheartedly in your heart while nodding furiously. After all, don’t we all tell our boy/girlfriends, husbands/wives what we think is best for them in how they should behave? What they should do and who they should hang out with? What food they should be eating, free advises at disposal whenever they may require. Why else would we do those if not for love? So we think that we are putting them first as we really do want to see them happy. Obviously they often come with the clauses ranging in hostility from ‘If I were you…’, ‘I’m only saying this because I care…’ to the almost psychotic, ‘I know you better than you know yourself!’. These words seem to both disclaim and disregard the fact that they’re all subjective truths that we shove into each other’s faces. What doesn’t help either is the fact that love (they way the world had commercially accept the meaning of) had been known to cloud most sound judgments into mush in such a short period of time.
For those who’ve had a possessive and super-jealous boyfriend would’ve known what a thin line it is between caring and scaring. “Does Donald like you? … How about Mickey?… What do you think of Goofy? … I don’t think you should hang out with them. Do they like you?” What first was cute can quickly turn into a nightmare when they start going through your personal communication methods daily. (Yes, the whole plethora of e-mails, phone contacts list, Facebook account). And when you confront them, it’s the dopey eyes that seem to whisper ‘I just want the best for you.’ And our heart melts like butter on hot pancakes. Oh and it could happen to you men out there too as this is definitely not a gender-related issue.
Oh and that’s just the beginning. Soon things will escalate into more serious behaviours. Common tricks such as going for the guilt trip, condescending and belittling behavior will start flourishing. There’ll be a clear power struggle between the very two people who are supposed to be in love. Admittedly, they are the spice and flavor on any serious relationship prior and during marriages, some would say. However, left untreated, they could classify as domestic abuse of the emotional kind when someone starts getting wounded. Not the bleeding type where it’s visible, but deep wound inside, fear, rejected, restrained and most of the time, hollowness. When you look in the mirror, and not recognize yourselves is when you know love had departed from its original truth.
When did it all go wrong? All I want is for her to be happy. And I, make her happy. I know I can. I give her everything. She doesn’t need to go outside and meet other people because I provide. Men provide, that’s what we do. Now she sulks and act all distant whenever I talk to her. So I just told her what I’ve given up to provide her they way that I have, and put her right where she belongs. Under my roof.. And I know that’s what’s best for her.
We all have best intentions in our heart. We all do. We all actually could figure out objectively what is the best for our loved ones, and for ourselves for that matter. We all are given the ability to do so. Everybody though, has baggage. We have our own past hurt and disappointment from our childhood and past relationships that distort the way we see the truth completely. We wear our own eyeglasses with so many muck and dirt on it that it’s hard to see clear. So we enforce they way we see the world to whoever is willing to accept our point of view and in turn forcing them to wear the very same dirty glasses to see the truth.
So how do we get new glasses? Or clean them perhaps?
You can start by wanting to know the objective truth. Let God take away all that dirt from the past and your current sins and addictions, and He’ll soon show you what the real meaning of love is. He gave His only son to clean those dirty glasses (obviously amongst many other miracles that His redemption brought). That’s hardcore love. Only true love can do that. And that’s just the beginning. Better yet. Get rid of your glasses. Empty yourself from your own need and wants and start giving yourself totally to your loved ones. Put their needs on top of yours. Stop making your own rationalization and really understand what it takes and what it means to love. In the realest way.
Millions pairs of eyes and ways to see the truth.
One real truth. Find the truth.
Curious to find out more?
Watch this space as we’re coming to a place near you!